I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
