Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
