Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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