Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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