Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
