i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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