Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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