Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
