You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
