you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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