whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
