i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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