I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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