My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
