i just google imaged poop.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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