My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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