I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
