Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
