This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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