He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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