did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
