i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
