I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
