I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
