i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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