Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
