I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
