He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
