Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
