I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
