My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
