hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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