I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
