Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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