It's Friday. Sex?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Bring me that man meat
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
