I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
