I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
