Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
