lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Four minutes until I can fart!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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