Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
