this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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