my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
