i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
