I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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