i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
