I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
