Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
