3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
This toilet bowl is my home.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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