Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
