well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
