Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She even gives head with a lisp.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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