4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
