Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
