If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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