Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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